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May. 15th, 2010

Ariel Green

(no subject)

I'm realizing that as I've gotten older and (questionably?) matured, I don't have much desire to spend time blogging anymore. Did I lose touch with my artistic side? Am I just so beat from working 2 jobs as a full-time nurse and the-majority-of-the-rest-of-my-time housewife that sitting down and thinking about/writing about my feelings is one of the last things I consider? Maybe it's a little of both.

I can't complain about my life. I'm happily married, we have a house, I have a job that keeps my mind sharp and pays well. That's more than many people have. I consider myself blessed. Still lately, I've gotten myself in such a rut. I feel like I've lost me somewhere along the way to creating a nice, comfortable life for myself. I used to write, I used to draw and create. Now I find myself just not caring.

"Making time" for me is just a lot harder than everyone makes it sound.

Feb. 14th, 2009

Ariel Green

Happy Valentine's Day!

We had a decent day at work today. I drew hearts under my name on all my patients' whiteboards and we all wore pink or red. Scott surprised me by coming to the floor with a bouquet of daisies (my favorite flower) and chocolates. He even brought smaller boxes of chocolates for the rest of the girls. It was sweet. :)

I am so dead tired now. Only one more day to get through...

Feb. 13th, 2009

summerlove

New carpeting!

I never thought that one day I'd get excited about carpet, but I definitely did today. We got really nice Shaw nylon carpeting for both the master bedroom (which was already carpeted but desperately needed to be replaced) and the "new" guest room (which used to be the old computer room with hardwood floors). I just can't wait to decorate. I have so many ideas, and I'm trying to hold myself back a little. But Scott already emptied one of the two bedroom closets for me, and now that everything is newly carpeted and we're only 4 months away from the wedding, I'm finally getting anxious. A new place to decorate! And it's permanent, unlike my apartment. I will truly miss my little apartment, but I can't help but be excited about the house!

I got my wedding shoes in the mail today. These are the shoes - they're hard, clear plastic and made to look like a glass slipper. They feel pretty good but my toes look a little squished. They seem like they fit just right, though, so I'm wary about sending them back for one size up.. then if they're too loose, I run the risk of one flying off in the middle of the reception or tripping over my dress in the middle of the ceremony. I love them though.. I was never one of those girls who sat and thought about the wedding she'd have one day, but I always did want a pair of glass slippers. :)

We picked out our ceremony tonight as well. I made some beer-braised beef and noodles and damn was it good. Then we sat down and began to pick our readings and such and before we knew it we were finished and I was teary-eyed. I have no idea how I'll make it through even half of this ceremony without bawling my eyes out. I can try!

I have to work this weekend so it'll be a bit of a bummer for me, but Happy Valentine's Day everybody!

Feb. 12th, 2009

cornholio

(no subject)

I'm going to work on repairing my drafting table today so I can have a nice place to spend time drawing again. It has a broken leg, and there is still goo on the table itself from where I ripped off old tape. :(

Off to buy some ingredients for some crock pot taco soup. Mmm.

Feb. 10th, 2009

Ariel Green

(no subject)

I really wish I had the willpower to go to the gym, eat right, and lose 10 pounds before June.

Budget cuts

I cannot believe the day I had at work yesterday. We're a floor of 14 beds, all private rooms, and we take surgical patients. We usually maybe 3-7 admissions each weekday, with several discharges preceding them, of course. When the floor is full, we have three nurses, 2 with 5 patients each and the charge nurse should have 4 patients.

It's hard to be in charge when my manager is there. When I go to her for advice on something to do with being in charge (because let's face it, I don't have as much experience as the other girls have) she has a way of either acting like 1) I should already know the answer, 2) I should figure it out for myself, or 3) makes the decision for me. I hate this.

There were only 2 of us there to start the day yesterday, because the census of patients was 9. I was in charge, had 4, and the other nurse had 5. None of our discharges were going until later in the day, but I took the first admission so that we had 5 and 5, and according to our grid for ratios, that's fine. But then we got another admission. I had said to Jen earlier in the day (amidst tons of stuff that I was trying to do) that we should call in the third nurse. But she didn't want to. I guess she wanted to wait because she's under pressure with all the budget cuts and such and doesn't want to pay the extra person. But then our doctor called with 2 direct admissions from this office and they came within an hour later in the day. My manager took them both. They were coming and beds weren't ready and people were running around at the nurses' station looking like chickens with their heads cut off. It was completely insane.

I got overwhelmed and stressed and my manager said something to me along the lines of that she couldn't believe I was stressed even though she was helping me so much. She had done some things for my other patients, etc., but not all that much. This made me so angry. If she had done what I'd wanted to do in the first place, the day would have gone more smoothly. But no. So later in the hallway when she came up to me to talk about things, I really did get mad at her. I had 6 patients at that point because I'd taken the direct admission that had come when she was on break. I was waiting for 2 of my patients to leave (which didn't happen until the end of the shift). She told me I shouldn't have taken that patient, that he could have waited for her and that I did this to myself. That's when I got red in the face and just said, "look, it's not just that, it's a whole slew of things. I can't talk about this right now, we can talk another time." and I turned my back on her and walked away. I can't believe myself now that I did that, but it had to be done. I was getting overwhelmed with everything I had to get done with all of my other patients and I didn't have time to chat. And it was a whole slew of things. Our secretary from 3-11 is completely incompetent. She's cocky and thinks she owns the floor. When people call for pain medication or a beeping IV, she says, "Your nurse will be there," and never freaking tells me! I am so sick of this!

Anyway, I am just tired of dealing with my manager. I feel now like I did the right thing, but I don't want to be fired.

Feb. 8th, 2009

(no subject)

I cannot believe I'm getting married in 4 months.

Last night Scott and I went to visit his best man and his girlfriend at her house. We had such a fun time. I just remember (amidst all the wine) drying dishes with her in the kitchen and joking about in-laws. Then later I thought about standing in the center of my middle school's blacktop, singing songs from the Lion King while we were waiting to be let inside in the morning. Sometimes random memories like that will come back to me and I'll have to sit and think about whether or not they really happened. 10 years ago all of my life "memories" were so few that they all still seemed so real.. now I'm beginning to get little hints of feeling like I'm getting older.

There are other things to make me feel that way, too. I went to church today with Scott. We aren't big on St. Therese in Roxbury, him because of the advertising during mass and me because of the contemporary feel of the church. To me, a church doesn't feel like a church unless it's dimly lit with stained glass windows and a slight musty smell in the air. Nevertheless, it felt good to go to church. His family lost touch with it when they went through the loss of his father, but I just lost touch with religion because I became too lazy and self-righteous to go. But now I find myself wondering why comedians like Bill Maher spend so much time making documentaries to make fun of people who are religious rather than say, making fun of terrorists. When I go to mass, I get things from it now that I didn't when I was a kid. It just tries to inspire you to be a better person to yourself and others. What's so wrong about that? Sitting there today, I realized that maybe I've finally grown up because I've gotten over the whole "making fun of church" stage if my adolescent-adult life. Scott reached over during mass and held my hand at the moment I felt my eyes tearing up a little bit as I remembered my grandmother. It was just so nice.

Jan. 25th, 2009

Ariel Green

(no subject)

Poor Scott has no bedroom furniture as of this weekend because we moved it to my parents' house for storage. He is using a bunch of cardboard boxes to hold his clothes. Right now the master bedroom has crappy carpeting that wasn't really quality and wasn't put down correctly so it's coming up in random places. The guest bedroom (which is now his "office" or what I call the "'throw random crap here' room" is all hardwood like the rest of the main floor. We just decided to bite the bullet last week and arrange for new carpeting. So the guy came on Friday to measure, and we ordered our carpet on Monday. We're just going to do a nice neutral light dusty brown color since we have no idea what we're doing with the decor. It's really nice bouncy quality Shaw nylon carpeting, though. We were going to put a new layer of vinyl on the kitchen floor for now as well, but changed our minds after the guy told us there are three layers (one tile, two vinyl) already. Bummer. It'll cost a pretty penny to rip up and put in new stuff, especially since we want to gut the kitchen and expand anyway since the cabinets are shot and we want to replace them as well. So we're holding off on the kitchen for now in the hopes that we'll be able to afford the expansion / remodeling of the kitchen in Spring 2010 without taking out a loan, which neither of us is too keen on doing. We also cleaned all the carpeting in the "little room" downstairs that we've cleaned and painted over the past couple weeks. It's going to become the new office. I think we both just feel like this crap is taking forever.

Jan. 20th, 2009

ariel hairbrush

Cleaning

I spent the entire day drinking caffeine and cleaning the entirety of my apartment with Fox News on in the background. I mean the entire day. From 9 in the morning until right now. Obama had quite the big day. And the more I saw him BS'ing on there, the more angry I became, and thus, the more that got cleaned. I even scrubbed down the bird cage and got the crevaces that I usually don't bother with.. and I threw the birds in the shower!

I just get so upset about the whole thing because I care about politics. I don't know every single name or face, but Scott and I watch O'Reilly every night and I read the paper and listen to the radio. Most people I know don't really understand the issues and don't quite "get" what things like universal healthcare are - they just know that they sure sound good! They see someone like Obama on the screen.. he's young, he's articulate, and he doesn't have that southern drawl that made so many people think that Bush was "stupid". So they say hey, this guy is promising CHANGE! He's going to fix my problems. The government is going to take over and take care of me so that I can forego personal reponsibility!

It all just makes me feel ill, watching people who don't know anything get so easily sucked in by the media. I don't care what anyone says, 97% of the black population voted for him... BECAUSE HE IS BLACK! How did this not make the headlines? Is that not racist? Many black people voted for him because he's black, many gay people voted for him because he's more likely to break down and allow gay marriage than McCain would. These are not the most important issues to our country, and are not the sole reason people should be voting for a president, but hey, they are.

Needless to say, I should make every inauguration day of a Democratic president my psycho cleaning day, because damn.

Jan. 15th, 2009

cornholio

Redbull

Whoa. I forgot what Redbull can do to me. I cleaned my entire apartment and completely reorganized my bedroom. Seriously. And I'm still wide awake, even though I've been trying to go to sleep for the past hour because I have to work tomorrow.

Hehehe.

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Ariel Green

May 2010

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